Thursday, November 27, 2014

Walk alone to insanity or Run with the pack?

As most of you would have already seen I'm not the least bit normal, but then again who can or what can be called normal? Each person has a some weird trait, habit or talent that sets them apart or makes them weird. So nobody is normal because they are weird in their own way but being weird makes them normal... So how do you define whats weird and whats normal?

So there are a few things that keep me awake and surge my insomnia on, the thoughts that I'm about to share are in no particular order or connected to each other (or maybe they are, who knows what goes on this thing anyway) so proceed at the risk of your sanity, you have been warned!

Everyone has their own mind sets and thinking patterns. When we say or do something we do it with a certain intention but it can be interpreted in a million ways. Lets take an example, when somebody accuses me of something I didn't do I will go in to defensive mode and try to clarify  things to clear  my name. For me this an act of self defense, but their have been cases where the other person  has interpret this act as a sign of aggression and retaliate aggressively. The end result being the conversation getting very hostile and turning out to be a huge argument. If one these people had the emotional intelligence (don't look at me, I have the intelligence level of an 8 year old even though I'm 26... Out of jokes it me most of the time in my life, even in the scenario I'm talking about) the logical thing to do would be to try to resolve the issue in a way that both parties are not hurt and the fight is sorted out then and their without it dragging on. In most cases people don't take the time or effort to look at a tense situation from an impartial aspect and do what it takes to resolve the issue, including taking the blame or take the fall for the greater good. People can be so one track minded sometimes that they are not willing to look at things from somebody else's point of view. Of course as the age of which kids mature reduces these days, youth are becoming self aware, hence more open minded but also self obsessed. The majority put them selves in a box and refuse to budge no matter what evidence or what anyone else tell them, everything has 2 sides to look at it from... ambiguity, the root and cause for all problems in the world. 

What I interpret as correct is not what you will interpret as correct, everything has two sides and in both parties minds they are right for doing what they did. So in a world where people don't make an effort be considerate of other people's opinions, thoughts and feelings how do people continue to get along with each other and maintain their sanity???

Compromising, if you care about someone you accept them for their strengths and weaknesses... but by doing this we sometimes we ignore effect it has on us. I mean we withstand so much pain at the end of the day that we become numb and we forget who we are and become what the worlds us to be. People care about themselves only, but by thinking of other people are we being fair to ourselves?

Here's where the twist comes, sometimes when people think about other people they tend to do what they think is best for them and not what the other person actually want or needs, this happens a lot with parents and kids, especially in Asian countries where parents force kids to live their life the way they tell them to rather than letting the kid make mistakes and learn from them. Now I'm not saying that parents should let kids do what they want and give them what they want, A balance or compromise must be reached where the parents treat their kids with respect and let  them forge their own lives and make their own mistakes. If you don't fail how do you know you did something wrong? If parents tell kids what to do all their life and make all their choices for them how are they supposed to make their own choices once they get married? all they will do is listen to what someone else says and be part of the system. True sometimes parents do know better because they have been through that age and and faced the same problems....but here's where they go wrong, everybody's problems are different and how they deal with it is different. Their way might have worked for them but there's more than one way to skin a cat. 

If you look at some of the great minds of today most of them were rebels, they followed their own path, they forged their own destiny by not accepting what the world told them. They did things differently, they lived life they wanted to and that worked for them. Do you think Bill Gates mother was happy with him dropping out of school to pursue his own path with computers? hell no! she would have given him a good lecture, but look where he is now (Okay I really don't know what the relationship that Mr Bill Gates had with his mother and don't quote me on this but I'm just assuming that's what happened)

Something to sum this up....forging your on path in life is messy...you won't get much help as you are the best help you have as nobody will understand your problems better than you. This also means that sometimes you will have to go through hell because you won't always have the answers. So do you forge your own path or be a part of the herd to maintain your sanity and live the way world wants you to?

Friday, November 21, 2014

Unanswered Questions

My bones haven’t been shattered but my life isn’t even close to decent
If someone would have given me a penny,
For each time my heart was broken in pieces
My wallets resemblance to Bill Gates would be uncanny

Time and Time again I’ve kept telling everyone I’m fine,
All I should have been saying is how much I was crying.
All around me my house was burning down,
So I had a party and invited the whole town.

I want to be famous just like everyone else,
Be loved by everyone and be given a golden crown,
Why really, I honestly haven’t the faintest clue,
Just fit in I guess, and not be everyone’s personal clown.

Every day I battle with the voices inside my mind,
Trying to find answers to why life is so unkind.
All I really want is a break from my head,
Please can you help fix me so I can be normal instead?

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Senseless Chaos

Many years of meaningless violence we’ve seen
Assassinations and bombings, an everyday scene
Our people have spilled gallons of blood
For what reason must we bury our brothers and sisters in mud

Soldiers fall, while civilians crawl
People being crushed underneath falling walls
Now from above we see more danger
From this terror, we inherited an unjust anger

There was so much fighting now; we have forgotten why it started
How can any human being be so ill hearted?
Even children don’t see the light of day
They take one small step and they’re blown away

We’ve been through it before, let’s stop this from happening again
In so many years, there was no justice, just pain
Let’s end this terror before even more people die
Don’t say there is peace, because that’s a blatant lie

We are one people and we can live together
Live in peace and be united forever
Because at this point it’s only chaos on the plate

I hope someday we can end this senseless hate

From demons to doves

There was a time when pain filled his heart,
When nothing in life went according to plan
It all seemed useless, he didn’t know where to start
He needed to fix things, he needed to make a stand

It had to be done, he had to get off the shelf
He had to make a move and restart his life
He had to prove his worth lf, for nobody but himself,
He had to beat this pain and get through the strife

He fights every day, because moving forward is right
At long last he has found his calling, his life finally has purpose
Breaking through pains grip so tight
He stands tall and proud, he is no longer nervous

Despite it all, inside he will always mourn,
There’s a piece missing from his heart
He’s in a good place in life, but he’s still feels alone
Especially when he see’s everyone else’s journey start

Life goes on and he hopes that someday
He might once again find love,
He has earned his respect and he’s done it his way

But when he fills that emptiness, he’s demons will once again be doves

The memoirs of a burdened heart


Once a heart of a thousand burdens beat in his chest
Always feeling like he had no place in life
He has been a disappointment to everyone he loves
Even though in his heart, he never had evil intent
He is confused and he is in a trance
He wants to go to sleep and dream of a better life
If he’s asleep, he wouldn't want to wake up at all
To the harsh realities of a life which hurt him so much
He has demons of a burdened past which he battles daily
On a daily basis all he wants is to be free
He wants to turn his demons in to doves
And turn his charred reality into the utopia in his dreams
His is lost in a wilderness of concrete and bricks
Having to live in a world that is so harsh
He would take on the devil himself to make things right
However, it would be pointless in his mind no less
Now he’s in a world filled with the devils toys
Cigarettes and alcohol fill his body and mind
He has hit rock bottom once more, he has nowhere to run or hide
He ponders about his lost love and the sorrow that surrounds
Where is she now? what is she doing? who is she with? 
just simple questions with no answers
As he stares in to outer space, reflecting on his life
He feels an abundance of pain that he cannot defeat
Loathing himself for the misery he feels everyday
He fights to go to sleep, as the insomnia deepens in his soul
His  mind remains unclear and clouded
His memory is a blessing and sometimes a curse
Happiness seem to get further away
He hopes and prays that someday he will recover from this hell
He wants to make amends for his sins and be rid of them
To free his heart from all the burdens and right the wrongs he has committed

These are the memoirs of a burdened heart, the pain that is too much to bear

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Hey!

I couldn't think of anything to say,
When all I could think of was the fall,
 If I go soft you might think I’m gay
 But if I don’t you probably would never ever call,
Stuck wandering what could have been,
Should I not take a chance or play my luck,
Is it okay for me let my feelings be seen?
Or play it safe and just agree life sucks?
I’m frozen trying to decide how to reply,
My mind seems to be going in to hyper drive,
Should I be honest or play it coy?
Is it not meant be or can we thrive?
I couldn't think of anything to say,
So I simply sent you a message saying hey!

Monday, November 10, 2014

April Fools

Met you in a drunken haze under a starry April night,
Love was the last thing I felt when I had you in my sight,
I wanted to hold you by the waist really tight,
But instead I almost got in to a big fight!

My mind wasn’t the least bit clear,
Really it was so loud I could barely hear,
You were so open I forgot all my fear,
In the end all I gave you were tears

Although we ended how we did seeing all the warnings,
And I know you’re heart is still in mourning,
I feel your pain when I wake up each morning,
Because I know you still love me and stop me from falling

You taught me what it was to love someone,
In my heart you will always remain my number one,
How can I truly move on when you're always on my mind hun,
Feels like I keep getting shot with a gun

I wish I was around you to treat you like a queen,
We felt so much love and always acted like teens,
You're not here now, I feel just like a machine,
Life right now feels like a milkshake without any cream

Though we are shattered and broken down inside now,
I will make it to my feet, I really don’t know how,
My love for you will be always be sacred like an Indian cow,
When I look to the skies all I can see now is your falling brow

Monday, November 3, 2014

Mindless Banter

They say ignorance is bliss, being the way that I am to be a mindless puppet is something I really wish I could do.

The sickness and wounds I have are self inflicted, I know, I’ll go crazy one day if I don’t change how I am, But being the way I am is the only life I know.

I’ve tried to change it; I swear I have, be a slave to the system and be the chosen one, but the way my mind works you see isn't that simple my dear ones.

To change the world you have to start with yourself, if you can’t change how you think and be the exception how do you expect to open your mouth and change the world?

Changing one’s mind, is it really that simple? Can you turn back time and erase your crimes and say when you look in to the future you see it shine?

When you truly explore your mind, it works in funny ways you discover. Although you clearly see right from wrong as clear as day, we convince ourselves that we aren’t bending any rules.

Your brain rationalizes crime to make sure you think you won’t have to do the time, but really who are we fooling?

But honestly who decides who’s right or wrong? Why do monsters run free while the innocent suffer simply because they don’t know how to get cover when everything goes wrong?

Who are we to point fingers when we don’t practice what we preach but expect the world to change? Are we really that blind?

We tend to lose our morality by trying to rationalize society and breaking all the rules to promote our own form of equality, really who are trying to fool with all these lies?

A lot of us have learned to live our lives by giving in to the world and ignoring ourselves, being faceless slave who really we are not.

How can we love someone else when we don’t love ourselves?

How can we teach right from wrong when every day we do wrong to ourselves?

How can we understand the world when we can’t even understand ourselves?


Stop for a moment, look in to your heart and explore yourself before you try to interpret the world.