Breathing

You took my breathe away even when I wasn’t breathing,
I never knew if the air that I inhaled was dirty or clean.
When it was clean it was the sweetest breath that I’d ever take,
But when it was dirty I’d turn red and my heart would turn to lead.
The air I was breathing was so mixed I didn’t know if to breathe or not,
You could either sweeten my life or choke me to death,
Joy and pain.
Rain and shine.
Good and bad.
Yin and Yang.
It’s so hard to choose right from wrong when I'm with you,
Everything feels the same.
Which way is up and which is down, I couldn't tell,
So many different emotions and choices always clouded my judgement.
I couldn't tell if things looked good or bad,
The picture kept on moving, but I stood still, should I have moved with it?
I felt like I was losing my sight,
And I couldn't tell if I was wrong or right,
I 'm sure I was going insane after every fight.
Can you please make the world stop spinning?
I’m not drunk,not yet at least, but I'm not alright.
Can I please have one moment of clarity where everything isn't all topsy turvy?